Gratitude is an Attitude {Self-Discovery, Word by Word}

If you haven’t yet learned about the launch of the brand-new blogger series, you may want to check out the introduction post for Self-Discovery, Word by Word. You can submit a link for your own entry until October 19th by emailing me nourishingthesoulblog@gmail.com!

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“If the only prayer you say in your life is thank you, that would suffice.” — Meister Eckhart

When a few other bloggers and I decided to launch an online series dedicated to self-discovery and building a healthy life, I was thrilled to take part. When I had the opportunity to launch the series in its first month and select the first word, I was over the moon! I knew quickly just what word to I wanted to jump-start this amazing series – one that has played such a powerful role in my own life: Gratitude.

I can remember being a struggling adolescent when Oprah discovered and began sharing with the world her practice of using a daily gratitude journal. At the time, like many young girls, I was desperate to define myself in a world that seemed to knock me down at every turn. I was floundering, searching for something besides food, obsession with my body’s imperfections, or the media’s warped perception of teenage values to cling on to.

So while many of my pre-teen friends were keeping diaries with their most vulnerable desires locked safely inside, I began a gratitude journal. This isn’t to say that I didn’t fantasize about a thinner body or the attention of a rugged classmate (as rugged as 12-year-old boys can be, I suppose) – because I certainly did. But I decided to also allot some of my brain power away from the opposite sex and my frustration with my thighs and on to what I loved and valued about the world.

When I started my own gratitude journal, I found it hard to think about what was positive in my life. I don’t have anything to be thankful for, I’d think. People tease me at school, my family can’t afford the big house and amazing vacations that other kids get, and I hate the way I look. I recall staring at the blank pages of my notebook, twirling a pencil around my dark hair and feeling sorry for myself.

For most of us, feelings of depression result in what mental health professionals call the negative cognitive triad. This means that while depressed, most of our thoughts involve negative feelings about the future, the world, and ourselves. It’s of course normal to have a crappy day and feel like you completely bombed at work (self) and that things just aren’t fair for you (world). It’s also normal to wonder if it can really get any better tomorrow (future). But when these thoughts are pervasive and begin to color the way that you think regularly, you may be heading toward depression.

What gratitude does is refocus your attention and energy away from the burdens that you carry and creates a new reality. When we fail to consider the gifts that we have in our lives, we remain in a state of despair and frustration. We feel that we want more, need more. That we cannot be happy or feel satisfied with the way that things are.

Being in a state of gratitude cultivates acceptance and, ultimately, peace. It fosters appreciation and more mindful awareness. It involves allowing the world and ourselves to be just as we are and being happy within those conditions. It’s radical, I know. But it works.

Positive psychology researchers and clinicians have been advocating the benefits of gratitude for years. For example, Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, and his colleagues scientifically demonstrated that delivering a letter of gratitude to someone decreased study participants’ depression and increased their overall happiness.

And the effects of a grateful attitude are long-lasting when cultivated. Michael McCullough, Ph.D and Robert Emmons, Ph.D, pretty much the scientific authorities on gratitude, have found through empirical studies that people who feel more gratitude and engage in gratitude practices (like, for example, making a list of things you are grateful for) tend to be happier, more optimistic, have better coping abilities, and even exercise up to 1.5 hours per week more!

But what about when it’s hard? – like it was for me, sitting in my childhood bedroom and focusing on the shortcomings of my brief life. In moments like those, it’s best to start small. When I do these exercises with people I work with, I encourage them to start with this very moment and consider what they value in the here and now. Nothing is too small. For example, as I write this post I am grateful for the following…

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• my literacy – being able to read the research on this topic and write about it
• being able to share my reflections with a community of wonderful readers
• the softness of the chair in which I am sitting
• that I am consuming clean drinking water (and have access to more should I want some)
• for sunshine peeking through the open window
• for today’s quiet and solitude
• that I have the time and energy to do what I love

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Now it’s your turn. I’m challenging you today and over the next week and half to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Share in the comments what you are grateful for in your life, and if you have a blog, participate in the Self-Discovery, Word by Word Series.