Five for Friday :: 8 April 2011 (and a race recap!)
Thank you to everyone who sent kind vibes and words my way last weekend for the half-marathon that I ran. I was thisclose to my goal of sub-2:00, with a time of 2:00:45. The perfectionist in me felt a tinge of disappointment (hey, I’m human!), but I was able to focus on the things that I was incredibly proud of – like, finishing, for instance. Not only did I cut 25 minutes off of my previous time, but I felt so much better physically and emotionally after this race. While my legs were of course aching, my feet sore, and my muscles exhausted, I felt incredibly strong and grateful crossing the finish line, doing my last mile as my fastest one.
Not only was my body more prepared this time around thanks to time, mindfully exercising, speed work, and cross-training with yoga, but so was my mind. There were several points during the race when I started to notice my thoughts go in an unhealthy and hopeless direction, like when the strong wind felt like it was pummeling me backwards. I made a decided effort, however, to refocus my thoughts and shift my attention to how I was feeling in my body – tired, but powerful. Despite the lack of crowd support (we’re talking deserted rolling hills of nothingness), I was my own cheerleader.
I also experienced a pivotal moment around mile eight. Chugging along on the pavement, I suddenly had the thought, “I want this.” For the several days previous, despite publically declaring my race goal, I had convinced myself that it didn’t matter if I achieved my goal – it was enough that I was trying. And it was, in a sense. I had worked extremely hard to get where I was at, so two hours or three hours or eternity didn’t matter. Sort of.
What I realized though, was that I was convincing myself that my time didn’t matter because I was scared of admitting that it was important to me. If I acknowledged that, I would have to experience the potential sadness and disappointment if I didn’t meet my goal. So instead of pretending that I didn’t care for the sake of preventing difficult feelings, I decided at that mile to say it aloud… I want this.
It was an invigorating feeling, one that made me run harder and faster than I had the previous seven miles. In retrospect, perhaps my burst of energy made me more tired later in the race, but it felt amazing. It was liberating to acknowledge to myself that I wanted something, badly. Despite not quite making my time, I feel really amazing about the race. I left feeling strength and gratitude, and I was touched by those who sent me messages of encouragement.
Aside from recovering from achy legs, I did stumble upon some really great things this week that I of course want to share with you:
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- Dr. Dana, the brains behind the Body (& the Brood), wrote a fantastic piece outlining how self-compassion is an antidote to negative body image. I love the first line: “Poor body image tends to take root in neglected soil.” So true!
- Over on HuffPo, Hale Dwoskin shares a simple but radical way to stop dwelling on your problems. It’s definitely worth a try.
- Speaking of running (I promise I’ll stop soon…), I’d be interested to hear your reactions to this “debate” on Runner’s World where two experts weigh in: Can You Be Fit and Fat?
- Have you seen the Inner Beauty Mirror UnContest over on The Beauty Message Challenge? Check out the site for details on how you can both improve your body image and score an iTouch. Win, win!
- Last, I can’t help but put a plug in for the April edition of the Self-Discovery, Word by Word series. Mara from Medicinal Marzipan is our host and she has chosen a transformative word… Go check it out!
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Reader Comment of the Week :: Per the random number generator, the winner of the blogoversary giveaway is… Dorry of Living with Healthy Hunger!
Thank you to everyone who commented, tweeted, and facebooked. I have had a wonderful year getting to virtually know so many of you, and have become a better clinician, blogger, and person because of it…
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Signing off, but wondering… Have you ever almost achieved a goal? How did you feel?
Dana Udall-Weiner
772 days ago
Thanks for the link, Ashley! Glad to know of the debate about fit vs. (or including) fat–sounds like a great post and I’ll check it out soon.
Dana Udall-Weiner recently posted..I’m a hip mama Or at least I’m on hipmamacom
Dorry
772 days ago
Oh my! I was taking in every single word of your race recap and then I saw I won your giveaway! What a great post. :) I am so, so thankful to win this amazing giveaway! Thank you, Ashley!
Your race recap is awesome, having it documented here will be something you always cherish. Races are incredibly challenging with the ups and downs. 2 hours is a long time to be running! We’re bound to go through mental and physical highs and lows, but that feeling of exhilaration, adrenaline, perseverance and finally accomplishment is incomparable!
Dorry recently posted..Posing for Purple
Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul
771 days ago
Congratulations, Dorry! I am going to have the authors contact you directly. Hope you enjoy!
Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul recently posted..Today’s Nourishment – Synthesizing Happiness
Lori Lieberman
772 days ago
Congrats! Quite an accomplishment.
Yes, I have experienced almost meeting a goal when I trained for my very first MS ride after my diagnosis. One week prior, new to toe clips (do get guidance before stepping out with these!) I had my first and only fall to date, a clipped-in slow-mo fall, with all my weight and pressure in one spot, causing a bruise that dehydrated me requiring IV fluids, and pained me like never before. My neurologist, an avid biker, encouraged me still to ride if I listened to my body.
And so one week later I got on the bike. I rode all of day one, 75 miles, my longest distance ever, and was elated. Day two besides terrible discomfort, there was record rainfall for the state of MA. After the first 2 hrs I caved, preferring to listen to my body and my sensibility. Clearly it was the right thing to do, yet of course I was disappointed. It made me all the more determined to meet my goal the next 7 years of riding this ride, going on 8 in June which I have done successfully.
Now my goals have changed. I appreciate that I am even able to ride, going on 9 years with this disease, and I have few expectations besides raising a ton of money for the MS Society!
Lori Lieberman recently posted..Lessons About Eating From the Big Apple Circus
Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul
771 days ago
That is truly incredible, Lori. Thank you SO much for sharing that story. I can’t imagine riding a bike down the block, much less the rides that you do!
Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul recently posted..Today’s Nourishment – Synthesizing Happiness
Lori Lieberman
772 days ago
Correction, I’m going on 9 yrs riding, for the record!
Lori Lieberman recently posted..Lessons About Eating From the Big Apple Circus