Is insight really important in changing our behavior?
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A few months ago, one of my patients brought in a clipping of an article she had run across in the New York Times. The piece, entitled, “When Self-Knowledge is Only the Beginning,” described how the insight developed in the therapeutic process is not sufficient to bring about happiness in a person’s life, also suggesting that having it can actually be harmful in some cases.
Like any good insight-oriented therapist, I naturally wondered about the meaning of my patient carefully snipping this article from the newspaper, packing it away in her bag, and bringing it to my office. I was curious about what that act might signify for her, and what she might be trying to communicate to me without words. We eventually did explore this together, and in the process discovered a great deal about patient’s feelings about therapy in general and ours in particular. It provided an opportunity to reflect on the hard work that she had done in treatment and what areas of her recovery we had yet to address more fully. It allowed for a closer examination of our relationship and the dynamics at play, dynamics that transcend our six-month relationship and speak much more to the relationships that she has with others in her life.
As I thought about the fruitfulness of that session, I realized that if I hadn’t been concerned with insight, all of the self-awareness, the understanding of where further work needed to be done, would have been lost. If I had said, “Gee, thanks for passing this along!” and dutifully stuck the article in her file and never brought it up again, what an opportunity I would have missed.
To be fair, the piece in question does not negate the value of insight entirely, and in fact makes several good points about its role. But some in the mental health field, and certainly in the community at large, charge those of us who value insight with “wasting time” and not really helping the individual change. Insight doesn’t create happiness, they say.
So what role does insight play in therapy? And how does it help someone in recovery?
Good questions. I’ll thank myself for asking…
When I talk about insight, I’m referring to self-awareness – awareness of the meaning that underlies the behaviors that we engage in, the relationships that we partake in, the thoughts and feelings and reactions that we have. To me, this is at the heart of living mindfully.
Once we have developed a deeper understanding of why we make the choices that we do, we are free to make different choices. We are free to explore alternate realities for ourselves because we have done the work to decipher what our previous realities meant for us.
We can understand that when we were nine years old and eating to the point of discomfort, we were protecting ourselves from much harsher and threatening burdens. With that understanding, we can begin to shift our stance toward ourselves from one of shame and disgust to one of a compassionate and caring older self, one that can gently soothe the nine-year-old and let her know, “Things are different now. You don’t have to be so afraid.” And we can begin to let go of the need to hold on to the at-one-time vital behaviors that have kept us locked in a pattern of self-destruction.
One of my favorite quotes, one that I amazingly picked up from twitter, is this: “We cannot make choices from the same mind that believes we have no choice.”
Insight breeds choice. It births emotional freedom – freedom from the chains that binds us and from the minds that tell us “This is who you are! You can do no different. You can do no better.” Insight tells us that we can do better and helps us understand the ways out of the labyrinth that our early experiences can sometimes create.
We can, of course, become too tied to insight, just as we can become too tied to anything. We cannot stop at the level of insight, but have to be willing to utilize the understanding and self-compassion that we create to initiate positive changes in our behavior. At times we need gentle guidance to do so, or even a slightly harder push. Therapists should be trained and skilled enough to know when that push is needed and how to do so in a way that builds trust rather than diminishes it.
So can insight lead to a happier life? I suppose there’s no clear answer to that. What I do know is that insight can lead to a more authentic life, one lived from a place of mindful awareness, one lived with a sense of self-understanding and empowerment to make to healthy choices. I don’t know about you, but that’s the kind of life I want to live.
Do you think developing insight is important in therapy? What has your experience been with insight?
Michele @ Healthy Cultivations
706 days ago
It seems to me that insight is necessary to true healing, growth, or recovery. Without insight into and understanding of the issues, one can really only address and remove symptoms. Insight allows the deeper issues to be addressed. Insight allows one to address the foundation of the issues rather than more surface-level things, which leave the sometimes powerful foundation solidly in place. Insight is the key to unlocking the foundation from which everything else grows.
Kate
706 days ago
Insight is fruitless if you don’t put it to good use, in my opinion. For years, I went to therapy and I was well aware of all the reasons and history that led to my eating disorder and my anxiety. But I never took the lessons I learned from therapy and used them to make active changes in my life. Insight should be the catalyst for positive change.
Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul
696 days ago
A very good point you make. Insight can only be the beginning and has to lay the foundation for healthy decisions.
KCLAnderson (Karen)
706 days ago
I am an insight junky ;-) I thrive on ah-ha moments.
I guess it depends on the kind of therapy one pursues…and I’ve tried (and found success with) all kinds, from traditional cognitive-types to alternative types like Emotional Freedom Technique. Based on what I understand of EFT, knowing why or delving into painful memories is not necessary to get blocked energy moving again…or to shed negative energy.
KCLAnderson (Karen) recently posted..From The “It Takes As Long As It Needs To Take” Files
McKella
706 days ago
I think insight is important, because if we can uncover the reasons for our choices, we can see that we have other options.
McKella recently posted..Setting New Intentions
Kendra (Voice in Recovery)
706 days ago
I am with Karen – I am a constant seeker of ah-ha’s and insight. I have them all the time, even small tiny ones. I think being open to those are what challenges me, inspires me, and gets me unstuck.
Kendra (Voice in Recovery) recently posted..Fairground Fun Time
Dana Udall-Weiner
706 days ago
What a great post, Ashley. “Insight breeds choice. It births emotional freedom…” This is a wonderful way of explaining its importance and its role.
Dana Udall-Weiner recently posted..Small “b” Bravery- Have You Got it
lori lieberman, RD, CDE, MPH, LDN
706 days ago
Oh, Ashley, your patients are so lucky to have your insight! I loved this piece.
Just want to add that without adequate nourishment such as in restrctive eaters, striving for insight may be somewhat useless as a means to change behavior. That, of course, all changes with refeeding.
Lolly
706 days ago
Great article.
I can certainly see why some may say that being insightful does more harm than good. Whenever I begin to think back on my problems and why I am going to seek therapy it makes me very upset and anxious and, you know. But I look at it as a positive thing in the end. You can’t move forward without looking back and learning from past experiences. We all look inside at times, and we all should.
Lolly recently posted..You change your mind like a girl changes clothes
Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul
696 days ago
It can definitely be painful to look at difficult times in our lives and to understand where we are today, but as you say, it can move us forward if we do it a constructive and gentle way.