Listening Closely & Revamping Self-Care

{image credit :: Corryne Wooten}

The lovely Sui, of Cynosure fame, asked me recently about what I do to show myself kindness. [It’s for a really cool project she’s working on, so stay tuned!] It really got me thinking about self-care and how it’s so much more complicated than manicures and getting a good night’s sleep.

As I told Sui, I tend to be pretty conservative when it comes to trying new things. I’ve talked about that before. So in order to widen my scope of life and not live in a tiny bubble, I have to push myself at times to step – or leap – outside my comfort zone. A good example of this was when I tried yoga for the first time. While I’d been curious about the practice for ages, my fear of falling over and making a fool of myself ruled the roost for a long time. When I finally got up the nerve to give it a go, I feel in love with the practice. It’s now regularly part of my self-care routine.

But one thing I’ve learned is that when I pack my schedule full of “self-care” activities – when I try to jam in eleven supposedly relaxing activities into one day – I find myself totally burnt out. And when I stop listening to my body, I feel drained and depleted.

It usually starts out subtly. I notice a nagging that feels like a pulling inside my chest. When I start to listen a little more closely I notice that my mind is keeping pace – it’s starting to whisper that I really don’t feel like practicing Spanish tonight. The voice usually gets louder until I have to pay attention to it – and I have to make a decision. At that point I notice that there might be one part of my brain that tries to convince me that my lack of interest is related to me being a.) lazy b.) a wimp c.) dull. I’ve found that I have to just notice these thoughts and not allow myself to attach to them. [Minds do funny things!]

I have to go back to the feeling – usually in my body – and try to evaluate what’s really going on. Maybe I’m just tired after a long day and I don’t have the mental energy for Spanish tonight. Maybe my body is trying to gently tell me that I really don’t even care about learning Spanish. Or maybe it’s telling me that it’s just not the right time in my life to be committing to this particular endeavor. Whatever it is, giving myself space to look a little more deeply, with curiosity instead of judgment, allows for some powerful revelations.

Sometimes I end up studying the Spanish, or going to yoga, or meeting friends for brunch. But other times I stay home in bed and stream Netflix. ¿Comprende?

Are you able to be gentle with yourself with self-care? What kinds of things do you enjoy to nourish your soul?