In defense of stillness
{image credit :: thebookofsecrets.tumblr.com}
The term addicted gets thrown around a lot, probably far more often than it should. I am a big advocate for carefully selecting words, because they are the building blocks for our realities, and so when people say they are addicted to Giuliana and Bill or strawberry milkshakes, I get annoyed.
But when it comes to the idea of distraction, I think many of us are truly addicted. In fact, I would suggest that we have a cultural addiction going on. Hear me out.
First of all, I can write this post honestly because I am a total player in the game.
Hello. My name is Ashley. I’m addicted to activity.
I’m not talking about ADHD or just how busy we all are in our world, though I’m certain that those issues contribute to our problem. No, I’m talking about the fact that I look around the train on any given morning and every single pair of eyes is glued to an iPad or Blackberry. Crossing a busy street, people are texting. We watch movies with our laptops on our bellies, totally unaware of the plot. We eat at the refrigerator as we plan our Monday. We chat on the phone at the spa. We can’t even use the bathroom without a form of distraction!
It’s enough to make you want to scream, “Enough already. Turn it off!”
It makes me wonder, what’s so threatening about quiet? What’s wrong with stillness?
My guess is that it frightens us. To turn off the distraction means we actually have to sit with ourselves – our true selves. Stillness gives us the space to be with our own thoughts, to connect with our own emotions. And for some of us, that’s scary stuff.
For some, it’s the fear of being disconnected from others. The thought that things could be going on, that someone could be reaching out, and that I might not be available? Well, that’s terrifying for individuals who use that connection as a means of feeling whole. Without it, they suddenly feel incredibly isolated. It’s the irony of our generation – all of this incredible technology, built for us to connect, has left us often feeling even more alone.
For others, it’s the fear of feeling unaccomplished. If I’m not engaged in a task, how can I be productive? And, by extension, if I’m not productive, who am I? Do I matter? Granted, we aren’t asking ourselves these questions directly. But I believe that they are lingering beneath the surface.
And for still others, their own thoughts and feelings prove too distressing to bear. If they’re not enveloped in the hustle and bustle, then perhaps they would be able to experience the loneliness that they’ve been trying so hard to keep at bay. Or perhaps the frustration with a job that’s going nowhere. Or the fear that their partner is going to pack it in. Whatever the emotion, as a culture we are not particularly adept at feeling it. And so we busy ourselves with everything we can imagine to forestall it.
But stillness, on the other hand, it allows for the sense of deep and true connection. It allows us to listen. It allows for the full expression of our own experience. And it allows for us to feel whole, without the focus on the external.
Stillness is heavily underrated, and it’s time that we changed that. To be still doesn’t mean that one is unproductive or a hippie. It means that we are allowing ourselves the opportunity to be, the fundamental function of human beings.
Let’s hear you’re favorite ways to cultivate stillness in your life. I’ll start –
Coloring mandalas helps me to refocus my intention and energy and to just be present.
Your turn!
Amanda @ Click. The Good News
297 days ago
Meditation is my ultimate still activity. Sometimes I go to bed before I’m exhausted- just lay in bed, all cozy, day dreaming until I fall asleep. Occasionally when I drive, I’ll turn off the radio & just enjoy the silence.
Amanda @ Click. The Good News recently posted..SS: Distance
puja
297 days ago
ive come to realise that i numb my feelings with food, a glass of whine, surfing on the net or on the phone. the tricky part for me is not to be aware of myself hiding. its sitting with the pain without support.
great blog! i read it regularely!!
puja from berlin
Hillary
297 days ago
Loved and needed this. Thank you.
I’m not very good at cultivating stillness but have been drawn toward meditation for several years. I’ll try cultivating the courage to be still. =)
Hillary recently posted..In defense of stillness
Bek @ Crave
296 days ago
I can totally relate- I currently try to busy myself and keep myself distracted rather than deal with my anxiety, depression and eating disorder issues. But that’s all about to change- I’m ready to combat them and look forward to those still times :)
Bek @ Crave recently posted..Beats & Baking
Julia H. @ Going Gulia
295 days ago
This is such a great post. Ironically, I first read it on my phone while sitting on a bench waiting for someone to pick me up from the gym (I’m currently car-less). As soon as I finished reading it, I put my phone away and instead just sat there, trying to be still and avoid the “need” to have something to entertain me while I sat there. Got me thinking!
Julia H. @ Going Gulia recently posted..Goodbye Sookie