Maybe. Maybe not.

{image credit :: cliff1066}

I’ve always been fascinated – and equally struggled – with the theory of non-attachment. The idea, a Zen one, says that the source of spiritual and emotional pain comes from attaching to things outside of ourselves, whether those things are people, material goods, or outcomes. Don’t get too dependent on other people or on a Keurig coffee maker? Got it. Outcomes? Eh…

The idea of non-attachment to an outcome is one that I see myself and others struggle with, oh, constantly. And what does it even mean?

Well, the philosophy is really about living presently, in this very moment. It’s about shifting the focus from the end result this particular spot in time, the one in which we are existing now. It’s about allowing the outcome of a given situation to be what it may, and to avoid getting caught in the if-onlys and what-ifs. As I’m sure you’ve guessed, it’s quite a lot harder than it sounds. I don’t know about you, but I’m a Master What-Ifer.

This is hard in part because we have learned, through regular example and repetition, to judge every event that we experience. We’re constantly saying that such and such is bad and so and so is good. You got married? Wonderful! Lost your job? That’s terrible!

But what if, for a moment, we suspended the idea of judging the events of our lives, and instead just lived them? What might happen then?

There’s a story, a fable, that I came across recently that drove this home for me, and I hope that it might for others too. I’m going to attempt a choppy rendition, but I think you’ll get the idea.

A farmer lived in a tiny village where he raised his beloved horse, an animal that helped his family on their farm. One day, the horse ran away suddenly, leaving the farmer to figure out how his family would be able to finish all of the work on their farm. His neighbors, hearing of the news of the escaped stallion, came to visit the farmer and express their condolences. “I’m so sorry that this happened! What a tragedy!” they said in consolation. The farmer, old and wise, said simply, “Maybe. Maybe not.”

Two days later, to the farmer’s wonderment, he discovered his horse back near the stable. And not only was his own horse milling around, but the stallion was accompanied by several other wild horses that had apparently followed him. Learning of this turn of events, his neighbors returned to the farmer’s home and exclaimed to him, “Oh, Farmer, we are so happy for you! With all of these horses, you’ll be able to get more work done and make more money to support your family!” The farmer smiled and replied, “Maybe. Maybe not.”

The next week, the farmer’s son took one of the wild horse out for a ride, but the excursion resulted in a broken leg for the young man. He was in much pain, and was unable to get out of bed. Visiting the young man, the neighbors said to the farmer, “What terrible luck! Your poor son is hurt. This is awful!” Again, the farmer looked at his neighbors, and with his eyes closed he said, “Maybe. Maybe not.”

Just three days later, a squadron of soldiers came marching through the town, preparing for a battle that was to take place the next morning. The soldiers rounded up the young men of the town, forcing weapons onto them and pushing them into action. The soldiers left farmer’s son in his bed, as he was no use to them. When news spread that all of the young men in the town had been killed in the battle, the older men of the village came to visit the farmer and exclaimed, “Praise heavens! Your son was spared and you are so lucky.” The farmer once again smiled, nodded his head, and said simply, “Maybe. Maybe not.”

The point is, life is fluid and unpredictable. At any given moment, we have no idea how the events of our life will transpire over time. We know nothing of how they will shape and define the next event, much less the overall fabric of our lives. Blessings beget tragedies, and tragedies beget blessings. And so the cycle flows.

If we are caught up in defining the events of our lives as positive or negative, we lose our ability to see and to hear the quiet ways in which other opportunities are presenting themselves. This isn’t to say, necessarily, that everything happens for a reason. It may. It may not. But if we can stay centered in the experience of the now, rather than the supposed outcome, we can embrace life more fully and deliberately.

Will that enhance our lives? Make us happier and more whole? I wish I could give you and answer, but all I can say is…

Maybe. Maybe not.

But I think it’s worth trying.