{via etsy}

Today I pledge to love my body.

I pledge to refrain from saying derogatory things about my weight, shape, or appearance. If I talk about my body, it will be to tell the world how absolutely fabulous it is.

I pledge to hold others accountable to respecting my body in all it’s shapely glory. I will not allow others to create the definitions of what is right for my body. I will make those decisions and stand firm by them.

I pledge to honor the signals that my body sends me. I will sleep when I’m tired, eat when I’m hungry, and drink when I’m thirsty. I will play when my body needs movement and slow down when it needs rest. I will listen closely.

I pledge to treat my body well, just for being amazing. I will do things that give my body pleasure in all forms, as long as those things don’t hurt me.

I pledge to feed my body what it desires, and to stop when it signals I’m full. I’ll enjoy chocolate for the amazing concoction that it is, and will enjoy strawberries that way as well.

I pledge to stand up for the right of all bodies to be treated with respect. I will defend others whom I hear bullied and will take action when society tries to tell us what the “right” body is.

I pledge to move my body in ways that give me joy and energy. I will bend and twist and stretch and jump, but I will not devote hours of my life to activity that brings my body pain, tension, or stress.

I pledge to be honest with myself about my body and it’s needs and desires. I will not hide behind lies that I am not good enough, tall enough, attractive enough, thin enough, or just enough.

I pledge to teach others to love their bodies as well, by modeling a positive attitude toward my body and showing others that acceptance is possible. I will inspire in others what I wished someone inspired in me.

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I hope that you’ll join me in signing this pledge. Just leave a comment below if you commit yourself to loving your body whole-heartedly! Don’t forget to share the pledge on facebook and twitter!

As an Board Certified Art Therapist and Professional Counselor who works with patients with eating issues, Lauren Stern found that the word “trapped” kept emerging in the notes she took after sessions. “I realized that being on a quest to be ‘pin thin or extremely slender’ was what they kept referring to.” This observation led Lauren to many more, enough to develop an idea for a book.

It wasn’t a book like many others, however. The Slender Trap is a unique workbook that offers people who use it an opportunity to use expressive arts to connect to their own feelings about their bodies, and to begin to transform them. The book is packed full of clever illustrations and inspiring prompts to dig deeper and discover how to find peace with your body.

I recently had the opportunity to get to know more about Lauren and her approach (for more about her, check out the end of the post). To learn how art can lead to better body image, read on.

How does art therapy help?

For many, art therapy is a non-threatening form of communication. It tends to get to the meat of what’s wrong. Most individuals are much less practiced when expressing themselves creatively as opposed to verbally. Self -expression through creativity tends to be a more spontaneous form of communication. Examining what we’ve created helps us gain deeper insight and understanding into our inner selves. Many patients are surprised to see what unfolds on paper. Once we put words to what we’ve created, everything seems to make sense. It’s truly like magic!

What if you’re not a creative person? Can it still be effective?

Actually not being creative is usually an advantage in art therapy. There is no judgment or skill needed to use art therapeutically. We are not looking for juried art that will be hung in a museum, but instead art that expresses the inner soul. We are trying to help those creating to say what they sometimes cannot say in words.

How can someone get started in using art as a means of expressing their feelings if they’ve never done so before?

With a trained art therapist, a patient will be encouraged to express their feelings through different exercises. The skilled therapist can work with the information that they know about the patient to help him or her discover their own innermost feelings. Although many patients have not expressed themselves creatively in a long time, doing so can be very liberating and enlightening.

How might you help someone who feels totally disconnected from his or her own body?

Typically I will offer and encourage art media that allows one to “loosen up” and has more sensory properties. For example, a patient might finger paint to gain a more emotional response. Another may be encouraged to use clay, which is messy and more feeling-oriented. Clay also has the unique properties in that it allows one to control what may feel out of control in the molding process. This is healing for patients with body image issues. Pastels also encourage more body motion and blending of colors, enabling one to experience the self and the body as they work.

How are tapping into one’s creative side and body image connected?

Body sensations and body image seem to be very primitive and are easily described and expressed through creative exercises. For example, when a girl or woman is asked to paint, mold, or draw a self- portrait, most often she discovers how she feels about her own body very quickly. Sometimes she is surprised at what she discovers. Usually she has no idea when she gets started, but only can say that she “is fat or feels fat!” Most often, individuals with body image disturbance become extremely critical and hateful of their own bodies. The self-portrait, or a body tracing, gives those unhappy girls and women a way to talk about their bodies in a much deeper way.

Dear Reader, how have you used creative expression in developing a healthier sense of self? 

Lauren Lazar Stern, MA, ATR-BC, LPC is an art psychotherapist and licensed professional counselor who has maintained an active private practice specializing in treating girls and women with eating disorders for over 30 years.  As part of her art therapy graduate training at Hahnemann, she was specially selected for an internship with Anna Freud at the Hampstead Child Therapy Clinic in London in 1979.   She has lectured nationally on the use of creative arts in therapy with eating-disordered women, as well as other aspects of the utilization of art and writing in therapeutic practice..  Her new book, The SlenderTrap: A food and body workbook was published in October, 2010.  She is also a certified EMDR practitioner and uses this method coupled with art therapy to treat patients suffering from eating disorders.  Lauren is a member of the AATA, the Pittsburgh Education and Arts in Therapy Association, the National Eating Disorders Association and EMDRIA.

{image credit :: mwmgraphics.com}

Acknowledging and cultivating my own creativity is still a struggle for me at times, but can honestly say I’m always inspired to stretch the limits of my creative mind when I read Margarita Tartakovsky’s brilliant ideas. She’s the a PsychCentral author of Weightless, a totally amazing resource for all things body image and eating disorders. (Each Monday she shares an awesome body image boosting idea that often focuses on getting creative.) Margarita’s also the author of MargaritaTartakovsky.com, where she talks candidly about life, fashion, and writing (among other things!). Read on as she explains why (and how) to incorporate more creativity into your life.

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I live in my head. I always have. But it was a lot worse years ago. My negative thoughts would wrap themselves around other negative thoughts and write their own negative stories. Stories about having the wrong body, not being pretty enough, needing to lose weight. Needing to fix the latest “flaw.” Needing desperately to change.

But connecting to my creativity helped me stop filling my world with superficial, stagnant things and start pursuing my passions and really living life. Because when you focus on exploring what you love to do, you feel more alive. You’re less burdened by constant body-bashing. You’re less impressed with the thin ideal. 

Your priorities shift. You shift from wanting to whittle down your curves to cultivating your craft. The conversation in your head changes.

And your voice starts to get louder. The voice that yearns to try new things and express itself by making art, taking pictures, writing, sewing or doing tons of other creative activities.  

Creativity helps us become whole. It brings richness to our lives. Suddenly, the world is brighter. And it’s a whole lot more fun. There’s the fun of experimenting. Of finding something you love. Of being immersed in the process.

Creativity also gives us back our power. The power to build things with our hands. The power to make images come alive. The power to solve a problem. The power to use our minds for positive and interesting exploration. The power to be curious and ask questions. The power to contribute our voices to a conversation.

Here are five ways I like to tap into my creativity, which might ignite your imagination, too.

1. Take e-courses. One of the things I love about writing — and reading and interviewing experts — is that I get to learn new tidbits every day.  I’ll always be a student at heart (minus the scary standardized tests and long term papers). That’s why I love taking classes online. This website provides a list of creativity courses. I’ve taken many e-classes. But I especially love the e-courses from Susannah Conway. I just finished her photography class, and it was eye-opening.

2. Connect to your inner child.  Kids are super creative. They live and breathe creativity, and we can learn a lot from how they unabashedly play and experiment and invent. Recently a reader on Weightless mentioned that one of her favorite self-care practices is to color. I love that. How can you play with creativity? What used to fire up your imagination when you were a little one? 

3. Read. When it feels like the ideas have been permanently plucked from my brain, I know that I’m not reading enough. So I go to my favorite books and blogs to feed my brain the nutrients I need for ideas to blossom. One of my favorite books on creativity is Patti Digh’s Creative Is A Verb. This was really the first book that helped me connect to my creativity. It was my a-ha moment that I am creative. Everyone is.  I also love Maya Stein’s poetry, which just gets me at every line. I get inspiration from a variety of blogs, from writing to food to fashion. These are some of my favorite creativity-boosting blogs: Susannah Conway; Dooce; Eat, Live, Run; Kendi Everyday. 

4. Journal. I don’t journal regularly. I wish I did but I don’t. If writing pages a day seems overwhelming to you, start small. That’s what I do. Last year, in NYC, I bought one of those five-year journals — I’m seriously addicted to journals and own way too many — and I’ve been writing down snippets of my thoughts and doings a few times a week. I also love my itty-bitty notebook by Marta from Marta Writes. It reminds me to savor and truly taste my surroundings. Every day (or really whenever you feel like it), you record:

• ·       I love the smell of
• ·       I love the sound of
• ·       I love the taste of
• ·       I love the sight of
• ·       I love the feel of 

Many people also like keeping a gratitude journal or using journal prompts.

5. Take yourself out. This tip comes from Julia Cameron. She suggests taking yourself out on a solo artist date every week. It could be anything from going to a fabric shop to going to a museum. She says the goal is to “enchant yourself” or “woo your own consciousness.” It’s less about working hard at your art and more about playing. I also love the idea of learning to enjoy your own company, which is something you rarely do when you struggle with body image or eating issues. I live in a small city in Florida where the options are limited. But I regularly see musicals — I’m also addicted to Broadway — or the ballet, browse bookstores and ride my bike (activity is key for creativity). And when I’m visiting my family in NYC, I make sure to check out at least one museum and take tons of pictures with my iPhone. I try new foods and visit new sights. I try to slow down, focus and breathe it all in.

How do you tap into your creativity? Has connecting to your creativity helped your body image?

{via pinterest; originally here}

This post is one that has been brewing in mind for a while. After I watched Brene Brown’s recent TED talk on approaching shame, I was settled on writing it. And then I read Gala Darling’s amazing post on whether she’s a radical self-love hypocrite for wearing five-inch heels.

What both of these inspiring women talk about is the concept of privilege. Brown claims that we cannot talk about race relations in this country without talking about shame, the link being the acknowledgement of white privilege. I whole-heartedly agree. To really address race, we have to address privilege, and we have to address shame.

Gala Darling points outs the fact that just as those of us who are white are granted certain privileges in our society, so are those of us who are attractive, or who ascribe to the norms laid out like inalienable laws in our culture.

Think about it. I’m sure that you’ve had the experience of being decked out in a pretty dress, high heels, and a face full of make-up, and been treated oh so slightly better than when you showed up in your hoodie and flannel shorts. One example that I can think of is running into a grocery store to pick something up before a party and being asked by several different staff if they could help me find what I was looking for. Wow, I thought, what service! Unfortunately, I didn’t have the same experience when I walked in a week later after a sweaty run and no shower. Granted, the first time it could have been my hurried expression and the second time my smell to blame, but I’d put money on the beauty privilege idea.

This type of treatment isn’t relegated to grocery stores, unfortunately. Watching The Voice recently, my husband and I were commenting that the judges seem to place a value on physical attractiveness in selecting the winner of the “battle-round” (when two contestants face off in a singing duel). This is particularly ironic because the show is based around the idea that one should be advanced and selected based on the quality of their performance. In fact, it’s what makes the show so engaging is that individuals with non-stereotyped body sizes, physical appearances, or styles, are actually given a chance to shine. In the beginning, it eliminates beauty privilege. But as soon as the judges can use visual information to help them make a decision, we start to see the insidious pull of attraction. Just think of Susan Boyle’s rise to fame.

It’s not just the judges that are engaging in this. Just wait until the live shows when the American public can vote. I feel quite certain we’ll see more beauty bias at play. And to be honest, there’s good, biologically speaking, reason for this.

Back in the 1970’s, some social psychology researchers identified the “what is beautiful is good” bias. What they and subsequent researchers found was that attractive people are assumed to be better employees, smarter, happier, and have more positive personality traits. These same biases operate for lower versus higher weight individuals as well.

What’s interesting is that, while these ideas are not necessarily founded, when they are true it could also be due the cycle of privilege. When someone is born attractive, they are treated differently from the get-go. They are regarded well by peers and possibly interact more frequently, thereby developing more charisma and confidence. They are favored by teachers and might end up enjoying school more for this reason, so suddenly they are excelling in their courses.

The point is, the idea of beauty privilege is complex, and the solution is unfortunately complex as well. It’s not as easy as just stopping giving pretty people all the good stuff. Our evolution-driven wiring to seek out what is attractive is not going anywhere. So what we are left with is the task of recognizing and talking about the idea of beauty privilege.

Just as with any form of privilege, we hold back from discussing it because it can bring about shame. But we know that approaching shame and sitting with it in all its discomfort is part of the work of becoming more authentic and happier human beings. If we want to live in a world where our politicians are the best people to run the government, our singers are actually talented, and our children don’t feel they have to wear make-up in pre-school, then we have to acknowledge and start dialoguing about what is hard to talk about.

How have you seen beauty privilege?