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Ashley Solomon, Psy.D is a psychologist who specializes in the treatment of eating disorders, body image, trauma, and serious mental illness.

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28 Dec

Myth Busting on Eating Disorders

Education 6 Comments by Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul

mythbusters {image credit :: jeredb}

 

Eating disorders are serious, life-threatening mental and physical illnesses. I repeat: Eating disorders are serious, life-threatening mental and physical illnesses.

Got it?

With all of the tireless advocacy work that organizations around the globe are doing, I am hopeful that this message is being transmitted. Being tuned in to the efforts of such organizations as NEDA, ANAD, Generation Mirror, Eating Disorder Network of Maryland, and more, I see champions of this cause fighting endlessly to spread awareness about these disorders.

But we’re not there yet.

Myths about eating disorders abound. Perhaps most prevalent is the notion that eating disorders only impact young, white females, and that they are disorders of vanity. People won’t say this, at least not often and typically not to my face, but I see the vestiges of these old beliefs everywhere – insurance companies that won’t recognize eating disorders as the potentially fatal medial conditions that they are, tee-shirts sold by major retailers that paint eating disorders as a fashion statement, and even eating disorder campaigns that focus solely on a small segment of those affected.

Again, I am hopeful that the tides are turning and that reality of these illnesses are becoming more apparent. Today, over half of Americans know someone with or have an eating disorder. To be a better parent, co-worker, cousin, son, or friend, shouldn’t we know the truth?

Here are five of the lesser talked about myths that I come across regularly:

MYTH: Eating disorder treatment is too expensive and insurance won’t help.

FACT: The best eating disorder treatment is individualized and often includes a combination of psychotherapy, nutritional therapy, medical monitoring, and other types of treatment (such as family therapy, expressive therapies, and more). The cost of such treatment varies somewhat by such factors as geographic location, the licensure of the clinicians, and the availability of services in an area. However, treatment for an eating disorder is vital for full recovery, and most treatment centers will work with an individual to help them get the services that they need. While we often hear tragic stories of insurance companies denying payment, there are many insurance companies who do regularly pay for treatment, especially at lower levels of care (e.g. intensive outpatient services). The only way to know whether your insurance company will cover treatment is to speak with them directly. One’s doctors and other providers can also advocate for payment, and there are also actions one can take to appeal a decision of an insurance company. To learn more about this, visit NEDA’s page.

MYTH: Eating disorders are caused by bad parenting.

FACT: People with eating disorders often have difficult relationships with family. People without eating disorders also often have difficult relationships with family. While history has been full of accounts of how narcissistic, hypercritical, and unloving parents have pushed their children into eating disorders, today most experts agree that parents do not cause eating disorders. This is not to say that familial influence does not play a role in the way that an eating disorder is expressed, but we also know that the development of an eating disorder is multi-faceted. It involves a complex combination of genetic predisposition, temperament, learning, stress, and more. In fact, most individuals rely on their families for support during a battle with an eating disorder, and family can be one’s biggest champion.

MYTH: People who binge eat just need willpower.

FACT: Binge eating is part of both Bulimia Nervosa and Binge Eating Disorder, and is also often a part of other disorders as well. Binge eating can occur in response to a period of restricting food intake, emotional stress, or for other reasons. It does not, however, occur in response to a lack of willpower. Individuals who struggle with binging are from every age, gender, ethnic group, sexual orientation, and faith. They are also of every size, shape, and weight, and it’s not possible to tell whether someone has this issue by looking and him or her. You also cannot tell how much of this mythical “willpower” that an individual possesses simply by looking at what they eat. Binge eating is a serious and often very distressing issue, and one that requires both compassion and persistence to treat effectively.

MYTH: Everyone who has an eating disorder has been abused.

FACT: While our intuition or even clinical experience tells us that those individuals with eating disorders are more likely to have experienced trauma, research generally does not support this. Data usually shows that approximately 50% of the population have experienced trauma, a number that also holds true among individuals with eating disorders. Trauma can be a somewhat subjective idea, however, and the impact of events can differ greatly among individuals depending on many factors — age, supports, and resiliency, to name a few. When a trauma has occurred and is determined to be entwined with an eating disorder, it is often the case that an individual will need to address this as part of their treatment.

MYTH: To recover from an eating disorder, one just needs to start eating normally.

FACT: If only this were the case… Too many individuals have been told this by loved ones who they themselves were desperate for a way to help the person suffering. While developing “normal eating”, as defined by eating an amount appropriate to provide necessary calories and nutrients, is a vital part of the recovery process, it is not the only part. Individuals in recovery often have to start by recognizing their disordered eating patterns and even develop a sense of what normalized eating is. For some, eating issues have been part of their lives since being a young child and they have only a vague idea of what constitutes a healthy meal. Eating disorder treatment also often involves other important components, like developing alternative means of expressing one’s self, building self-esteem, andreconnecting with relationships.

For more myths, and the truth behind them, check out Generation Mirror.

What eating disorder myths have you heard?

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16 Dec

Five for Friday :: Binge Eating Edition

Five for Friday No Comments by Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul

BEDA2012logoFINAL

I’m getting super excited to head to Philadelphia in March for the Binge Eating Disorder Association National Conference. (You should join us!) I’m starting to organize my thoughts and plan out the two talks that I will be taking part in. One is on the how social media can be part of the recovery process from binge eating, and the other is about whether binge eating is an addictive process and what the answer might mean for treatment. Fun stuff, right?!

Since BEDA and binge eating has been on my mind a lot lately – and, fortunately, on the minds of many of those working on the newest edition of the diagnostic manual for mental health (BED will soon be officially recognized!) – I’m focusing this week’s Five for Friday on this insidious issue. With almost 3% of the population experiencing this disorder at some point in their lifetime (that’s over nine million people!), we cannot continue to ignore the suffering that it creates for individuals, families, and even communities.

These amazing writers have covered the topic eloquently, so take a few moments to learn more:

 

Do you have a post to share on binge eating? Include it below!

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21 Nov

Reader Question: Is my relationship affected by my eating disorder past?

Reader Question No Comments by Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul

Dear NTS:

I was very overweight as a child, and in high school I developed an eating disorder. I also used to self-injure.  Fortunately I’m healthy now.

I’m about three months into a relationship, or the start of a relationship with a very nice guy, and I’d like some insight into how my issues and past issues may come up in the relationship, and how I might best address things to avoid problems. I think, for instance, that although I do not engage in disordered eating or self-injury now, a) some of the causes of these separate issues are similar or overlap and b) some of those causes might still come up in my life and possibly affect my relationship (all relationships, potentially) in a negative way.  An example: I have more anxiety than the average person, I often take responsibility or blame for situations that aren’t in fact my fault, and I like what is probably a higher level of order/control over things than most people. All of these characteristics can potentially affect a relationship very negatively, and they do not seem on the surface to be related to eating issues (but I believe they are).

I realize issues very specifically related to eating and body image issues may come up – weird eating habits, concern about how I look – which I’m a little more comfortable dealing with than the others.

Any insight?

Curious Reader

 

[Please Note: This post is not meant as a direct communication with any single person.]

 

Your experience and intuition has informed you well, and you’ve recognized something that it often takes individuals a very a long time to unravel – eating issues and relationship issues are intricately interconnected.

It’s important to note addressing the serious (and often life-threatening) symptoms of an eating disorder is vital. You mentioned that you are healthy now, and I hope that you feel truly proud of having recovered from the abuse of food and from self-injury. That is no small feat. Getting those behaviors under control is necessary to have the emotional and mental wherewithal to take on other issues in one’s life as well. That said, I believe that the insight that you are looking for is important in remaining well and involved in healthy, connected relationships.

In her truly transformative work, Gaining, Aimee Liu talks about how life after eating disorders can be fraught with remnants of the disordered past, especially if these issues aren’t addressed as part of the recovery process. She talks specifically about how some individuals who have recovered from eating disorders at times continue to struggle with issues that previously took the shape and color of food, but now show up in other forms. One of these can be relationship difficulties.

This is not to say that all people with eating disorders have tenuous relationships. Far from it, in fact. But as you astutely acknowledge, issues like perfectionism, control, and self-blame, when standing in the center of an interaction between human beings, can create struggle.

One of the major issues that I observe in individuals with a history of these struggles is having a weakened and fragile sense of self. Perhaps it has broken down through years – or a single instance – of trauma. Perhaps the eating disorder itself ravaged it. Perhaps – for whatever reason – it was not fully developed to start. Regardless, entering into a relationship with another human being without a sense of one’s self that is secure and grounded can lead to a great amount of strife. For some, this shows up as giving everything to the person, and ignoring their own needs and desires. For others, it’s creating and keeping secrets to prevent intimacy. For others, it’s reacting to demonstrations of affection with anger.  For others, it’s feeling terrified of becoming vulnerable enough to develop a real connection.

Recovering from an eating disorder means creating a sense of self – one that is deep and rich and complex. Eating disorders – and self-injury and substance abuse and long periods of isolation – cover over this self and dull its color. It becomes flat and sterile. Love and relationships can breathe life into the self, but they cannot sustain it alone. That’s why it’s so important to do ongoing work to build this self in the context of relationships and outside of them as well.

One of the most important keys to a healthy relationship is being able to identify and express emotions, and feeling secure in sharing these with another person. For individuals who have a history of using destructive behaviors to express what they could not, it’s important to develop the tools to do this in a healthy and productive way. This often takes hard work, therapy, and lots of practice!

The bottom line is that body image issues, disordered thoughts about food, feelings of depression and anxiety – they are all going to come up in relationships. [If your partner is struggling - or you are and you want your partner to know how to help, check out this post.] They do for all of no matter our past! What signals a healthy relationship is one in which those feelings can be explored and validated in way that feels safe. If that’s not the case, it might be worth talking to a professional.

 

Have a question that you think others might be wondering about as well? Email it to nourishingthesoulblog [at] gmail [dot] com. Please remember that this site is no way a replacement for consultation with a mental health professional. Assessing your individual situation and needs should be done by someone who knows your situation and is specially trained to work with you.


09 Nov

Skip Eating Disorder Detours and Find the Path that Nourishes Your Soul {Guest Post}

Guest Post 5 Comments by Ashley @ Nourishing the Soul

I’m honored to share with you today a guest post from psychotherapist, Joanna Poppink, MFT, who recently authored, Healing Your Hungry Heart: Recovering from Your Eating Disorder. She has been gracious enough to share some thoughtful and practical insights on finding a path of nourishment for NTS readers. I hope that you will enjoy her post as much as I did.

6 detours; 6 destinations; 6 possible discoveries

Everything related to your eating disorder creates big DETOUR signs for your energy and takes you away from the healing soul nourishment you need for recovery and a fulfilling life. Eating disorder behaviors and thoughts are grim. Soul nourishment is inspiring and joyful. Get ready to have some fun.

By giving yourself an hour or two a day (or less) that you commit to an exploratory adventure, you can discover clues to your authentic center. You begin an enjoyable and worthwhile aspect of your journey to eating disorder recovery.

Eating disorders are distracting detours that lead away from your center. They envelope your mind, distort your perceptions and fuel rigid thought patterns. They shroud your awareness of your humanity.

However, the inescapable fact is, regardless of your awareness or lifestyle, you are a human being being. Therefore you have deep emotions. You can forget. You can remember. You can be inspired.

Disregarding your eating disorder detours allow you to search for forgotten clues your soul has left for you to find. Beyond your familiar detours you can find what you postponed so thoroughly that you forgot you even cared.

Energy detours:

1. Self criticism at the scale and mirror

2. Self criticism at clothes sizes

3. Binge planning

4. Hiding your restricting

5. Diving into a binge purge episode

6. Pouring out energy on the treadmill

These activities take up energy you could be using on a soul discovery adventure.

You need a topographical map for your journey beyond the detours. On this map you see the layout of the land but not the names of what you will discover. That’s what makes it an adventure. Your map is your plan. Make a list of simple areas to explore.

Areas to Explore:

1. Closets – on the floor, the back of shelves and jammed hangers.

2. Book shelves – especially the dusty ones

3. Cupboards – especially the back

4. Drawers – desk, kitchen, bedroom, office – go deep.

5. Storage boxes wherever they may be – attic, garage, storage unit, friend’s or parents houses.

6. Journals, diaries, letters and memories of people you don’t see anymore.

 

Possible Discoveries:

1. A faded newspaper clipping about a play you saw or meant to see. It reminds you or how much you enjoy live theater. Nourishment: attend professional and local community theatricals. Take a class in improv. Volunteer to help at schools and senior community centers in putting on shows.

2, A catalog of continuing education classes. Nourishment: thumb through the pages for a class teaching a loved or intriguing subject or skill dear to your heart. E.g. gardening, astronomy, history of your home town or ethnic origins.

3. A book you wanted to read before you died but still haven’t read. Nourishment: read it. Maybe it’s a Shakespeare play or a Tolstoy novel. Maybe it’s the best science fiction of the golden age of SF. It could be Yeats poetry or the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Now is the time to go for it.

4. Art supplies in the back of a cupboard, unused, and waiting for your creative life to re emerge. Nourishment: Unpack them. Set them up so you can easily do a little something during the course of a normal day. It could be as simple as leaving a sketch pad and pencil on a counter or table in full view.

5. Unused gardening tools. Nourishment: remember what you plans were. Find away to use those tools in the ground or a pot. Plant the old dream you can still make come true.

6. Photographs of people you love. Nourishment: If they have died, find a way to honor the significance they had and still have in your life. If they are alive, find a way to reconnect.

 

Discovering what you have neglected or endlessly postponed can bring up guilt or rueful feelings. But you can move through these emotional detours as you discover what genuinely inspires you. You learn how your own human psyche finds a way to keep what nourishes you tucked away and safe. It may be hidden in the recesses of your mind and home, but it is present somewhere. It awaits your awareness and attention to bring it forward from behind the eating disorder barriers and into your life.

As you nourish your authentic loves, your eating disorder detours fade. You discover that you have fun living your life free of your eating disorder and governed by the joy in your soul.

 

Joanna is a psychotherapist specializing in eating disorder recovery, lecturer, and author of Healing Your Hungry Heart: Recovering from Your Eating Disorder. To read more from Joanna, check out her website where she shares more thoughtful insights on recovery and building a life outside of eating disorders.

If you would like to enter for a chance to win a copy of her book, leave a comment below letting us know where you find nourishment for your soul. For another way to enter, tweet, facebook, or share this post on your site and leave a comment below letting us know you did. No entry limit, and the winners will be contacted directly once chosen.

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