{image credit :: inf3ktion}

With half of second grade under my belt, I sauntered up to my mother, who was undoubtedly weary from dealing with the likes of me, and told her that I’d had enough.

“Enough of what, honey?” she asked, with just the right hint of interest to mask her involvement in her novel.

“Enough of all the boys winning on t.v.!” I said incredulously. I then went on to detail how all of the television commercials for board games featured the little boy of the group shaking his hands above his head in victory as the other children looked on in admiration. What I didn’t even realize at the time was that not only were the girls being left to be wallflowers, but the African American and Latino/a children weren’t even invited to the party.

So at the ripe age of six, I decided to write a letter to several of the board game companies who engaged in this boy-take-all practice. Milton Bradley, Hasbro, and all of the big game-makers received my pre-pubescent wrath. And when I saw a commercials airing years later that featured the blond darling girl as the champion, I felt victorious myself (I had given up on seeing someone who looked like me as the starlet).

Whether or not my second grade letter writing campaign produced a societal shift in advertising practices, we’ll never know (though I like to think so!). But what I do know is that the passion summoned to make my little voice heard was borne out of a decision that I’d had quite enough – enough bias, enough injustice, enough lack of progress in gender equality.

I might not have had the words to articulate what I knew, but I was quite certain when enough was enough. I think that we all know – somewhat inherently – when what we encounter just doesn’t feel right anymore. When we’ve reached our limit of tolerance and we just can’t take sitting back and observing.

I’m not generally an angry person, but I am a passionate person. And just like I felt as a young girl, I often find myself fed up with society. Here are some things that recently have made me want to shout, “Okay already, I’ve had enough!”

People being discriminated against due to the body shape or size.

Reality shows that promote distorted values.

Bashing parents for mental illness.

Writers being rude.

The sexualization and objectification of little girls.

Magazines offering quick (dangerous) fixes.

Companies making light of disordered eating.

Not being allowed to be sad.

And so much more…

So what do I do when I’ve had enough? Getting angry isn’t enough. So, sometimes I still write letters. I also blog as a means of sharing my perspective and generating new perspectives. I seek out the wisdom of others. I discuss and debate. I donate and urge others to do so.

What has made you say “Enough!” recently? How do you direct your frustration toward changing the world?

This post was written as part of the Self-Discovery, Word by Word series. To take part and share your thoughts on what ENOUGH means to you, head on over for details from this month’s incredible host, Miss Mary Max.

Just a quick post to share that I recently had the distinct privilege of writing an article on disordered eating for Sashay Magazine, an eco-minded publication that covers topics of food, travel, health, art, and more. Here’s a short excerpt…

Whether she’s our sister, our co-worker, or the girl who looks as though she’s going to collapse from dehydration at the gym, many of us are aware of someone in our lives with an eating disorder. We see the tell-tale signs in the sunken cheekbones, the uneaten slice of cake, and the wringing hands when it comes time to put in a lunch order. We often sigh to ourselves and wonder how they manage to have that infamous “willpower,” resting assured that we could never do something like that to our bodies.

But what about our own little food rituals – the way we hate eating desserts in front of other people or refuse to use real sugar? The mistake that many of us make is seeing ourselves as separate and distinct from those with eating disorders, when “normal eating” is actually more on a continuum. Unhealthy eating patterns are more the norm than the exception, particularly as we face increasingly unrealistic expectations for our bodies, and become busier and less connected as a society.

Read more here!

Dear Glamour Editors,

I am writing to bring to your attention an issue in which you are certainly not alone. In your July issue, you included a short piece titled, “Stop the Wrinklexia!,” yielding to a disturbing trend of “exia”-ing issues with which individuals struggle.

In this particular piece, you were highlighting the recent uptick in anti-aging injections, which you suggested indicated a unhealthy focus on the status of our skin. You defined “wrinklexia” as “obsessing over the the fine lines of aging before you’re actually aging.”

As a body image advocate and a woman, I truly appreciate the inclusion of articles like this one in your magazine. As I have mentioned several times on my blog, I believe that magazines such as yours have incredible, and often untapped, power to foster positive change in the way that individuals perceive their beauty and sense of themselves. Bringing to light issues of the unnecessary increase in cosmetic procedures is one such way of doing this, and for that I applaud you.

As an eating disorder specialist, however, I am disappointed to see your magazine sharing in the disheartening trend of labeling obsessions and dangerous practices with the suffix “exia.” Your article comes on the heels of the recently dubbed “drunkorexia,” which reportedly refers to the trend of self-imposed starvation combined with alcohol abuse. “Pregorexia” is another distressing example, and refers to to preoccupation with controlling one’s weight while pregnant.

These terms obviously garner their meaning from their parent word, anorexia, which refers to the psychiatric and medical disorder, anorexia nervosa. (Though commonly misused, “orexia” derives from a Greek word which means “appetite.”) While using this clever wordplay might draw the attention of readers and even speak to the level of distress caused by these practices, what is also does is diminish the significance of this very real psychiatric diagnosis.

Eating disorders, including anorexia, affect over eleven million individuals in the United States alone, and can be absolutely devastating to individuals and their loved ones. In fact, eating disorders kills more individuals each year than all other mental illnesses. These brain-based diseases can wreck havoc on the minds and bodies of those suffering with them, and yet unfortunately they continue be regarded with less seriousness than other illnesses, as shown by the lack of equal treatment and insurance coverage.

When popular media trivializes eating disorders by labeling recent trends with the same terminology, individuals with eating disorders suffer. We have a large body of evidence suggesting that words are powerful in shaping beliefs and values, and so is the media. Terms such as “manorexia” or “wrinklexia” serve to desensitize us to the seriousness of the very real illnesses from which these labels derive. Simply stated, eating disorders deserve to be regarded with the utmost gravity.

Thus, while I commend your attention to issues of body image and unhealthy practices, I encourage you to reconsider the language in which you frame these issues. By doing so, you will be speaking out for the unnamed and countless number of women who read your magazine and suffer from anorexia.

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With kind regards,

Ashley Solomon, Psy.D

Today I’m sharing my first real VLOG in a new series in which I respond to reader questions. I thought it was appropriate to start with one of the questions that I get most often: Does the media cause eating disorders? Check out my thoughts and don’t forget to share you own in the comments below!

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Do you have a burning question you would like answered on NTS? Email me confidentially at nourishingthesoulblog@gmail.com and I might answer it on the blog. Just as a reminder, the opinions expressed on this site do not constitute advice to or treatment of any individual. If you are in crisis or in need of assistance with a serious mental health issue, please be sure to contact a health professional in your area.